Part 1

To continue from last night.....

Josh returned from deployment #5 in April 2011, everything was great for about a month, until the end of May. At the end of May Josh's (and Tom's) best friend Jesse got married. I was, and still am, truely happy for Jesse and Rachel it started the thinking process. I realized I was a baby when Tom and I got married and we had no business getting married the way we did. But we did anyway and it's all history now. Then it dawned on me that there is a greater chance Josh and I would never get married than that we would. I had never really thought about it before. The timing would never be right and honestly we make more money not married so why mess with a good thing?

It's all the image you display to other people. When you introduce your boyfriend vs. your husband people take the husband more seriously. Plus, boyfriend makes you sound as if we are in middle school still. The relationship Josh and I have leans more toward husband/wife than holding hands in the hallway and sitting next to each other during lunch. Having it hit me that we will never be husband and wife in the middle of Jesse's wedding was like an emotional brick wall that shut me down. I spent the rest of the evening being upset about that and pissed I was all dressed up and had a sitter for Julia and Josh didn't want a date night. He just wanted to go to sleep, not what I wanted at all.

So the summer went on. June was uneventful and the 4th of July was fun. Then a few weeks later everything seemed to explode. Without going into details and making one or both of us look bad we got into a huge fight that still lingers today. The only way we could agree to fix it was to have a joint facebook where we would discuss the people we add and have Julia and me move to Ft. Campbell until Josh could get transfered to Ft. Knox in the fall. Then one Sunday morning I realized I didn't start my period so a quick pregnancy test later Josh and I sat
staring at those 2 lines indicating the pregnancy hormone was present in my urine.

Now what? Josh was still suppose to get transfered to Ft. Knox sometime before Christmas and I wasn't due until March so we went ahead with the plan of moving Julia and me down to Campbell. All the while trying to keep me as stress free as possible because of my medical history of ovarian cysts. We didn't want to risk anything, especially by announcing it to everyone when I had not even seen a doctor yet. So we kept quiet, only telling immediate family and super close friends the news.

A few weeks after we found out we began the move. We had to find a pet friendly place to live. We ended up with Shrapnel at some point in all this. We also had to enroll Julia in the preschool/daycare program on post. I also had to switch all my classes to WKU main campus for the semester. I was taking a total of 15 hours and driving 70 miles to and home from school 4 days a week.

Then the day Josh and I were moving things into the new house his right leg from the knee down began to swell and hurt so badly he could barely walk. So we headed home and to the ER at Ft. Knox.